all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
