So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
