I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
