I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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