okay pat passed out under dana's car
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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