When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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