Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
