She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
