some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
