Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
