i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize