Pappa wants mamma naked
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
