so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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