It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize