Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
