I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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