Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
