sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
