I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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