matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
