I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
