shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
