Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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