I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
