I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
