thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
