I am puke
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
