i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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