peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
