you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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