If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
