this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
