i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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