nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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