Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I touched a dick in church today
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
