Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
