those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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