i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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