Where is the hickey?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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