Pregnant stripper...not hot.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
