it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
