We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
