You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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