im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize