She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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