whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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