Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
