FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
