So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
