my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
