Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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