She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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