Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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