I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
