why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
