come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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