is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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