Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
