don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
