some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So many bounce houses so little time
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
