Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
