He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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