if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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