you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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