why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
