No, drunk sperm still make babies.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
