she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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