Fuck appropriateness.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
