Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
