Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
